How I wish I could share a picture of Ellie. Her growth continues to flabbergast me.
not much time to post at the moment but thought I would share a few things quickly
- got final confirmation that the reason they cant place ellie with her siblings is the rule against having 3 under 3 in the same home, sometimes they can make an exception, not in this case. This makes me pretty sure that failing return to parent, they will place the baby with the sibling family shortly after her older brother turns 3. Next May. This is just my very best guess. Like Faith said, she is not a suitcase and I worry how this will damage her. I will be the only mommy she knows this year. If Titus went to live elsewhere he would be so heartbroken. Already. I really wish they could just give that family some extra help instead of letting her bond with us then uprooting her.
- My brother came round with some gas powered lawn tools and really got our yard whipped into shape. We need all the help we can get.
- I turn into a raving bitch when I am this sleep deprived. My poor husband.
- I got an invite to shop at a non profit charity shop just for foster parents. This was from a kind woman in a neighboring county. She has clothing for Ellie and a dresser. Maybe even a double stroller which we can't live without for too much longer. She also said I may select items for Titus :) All free of charge.
- I desperately need exercise but don't know how I am going to get any. Too tired in the evenings to leave the house. I do have an eliptical exercise thing that I am going to have to bust out of storage. I feel like such a huge, fat, slug.
- Plans to make batches of baby food this weekend.
- Still trying to get my head right about this foster placement. Accepting that its likely we wont be able to adopt her, but making room in my plans, heart, and head in case we cann.
- Loving these babies
I feel so sad for Ellie - that the judge and CPS don't understand attachment. We work tirelessly in our community here educating the Judge, lawyers, CPS, etc on attachment so they don't make decisions like this - and they still do. I know I asked before, but any chance you have a therapist or someone trained in infant mental health working with Ellie who could advocate on her behalf? What about a CASA? If I can be helpful, let me know. I have a bookshelf FULL of resources about infants and child welfare if someone could use them to advocate for Ellie. You are right, it will be SO painful for Ellie to attach and a year later, be moved. But all YOU can do is love her and provide her with the very best first year any baby could hope for - and trust that that foundation will carry her through whatever stress is to come. Hang in there. I say it in most meetings I attend - foster parents are the key to future mental health of our babies and toddlers. You are so important, so keep up the amazing work. I know the sleep deprivation well. It gets easier. Although we are all sick now and mine have been up crying on and off since 5am - just when I get one calmed down, the other one starts. Having two complicates things:). Keeping loving them!
ReplyDeleteOh and I can't believe I forgot to say that Titus is A-DOR-ABLE! Makes me miss the drooly baby stage so much:). Love all the grunting and babbling! Just too much!
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